There is a side-effect of psychosis called Magical Thinking. It is the idea that we can control the present moment by consciously thinking about how to change our lives in the best possible ways.
Since my diagnosis in 2009, I have wanted to be in control of my situation. I have, of course, been lacking in knowledge of how to affect change. But, recently, I have begun to understand the truth of making small changes.
I am working the quincunx in my natal chart at the moment. The difficulty of this injunction is immense. It is, or seems to be, a slow death, but it is the honing of my hearts desires by placing two sets of very different goals in my mind at the same time. By working these aspect planets against each other I am finding the truth in my heart.
The simplistic part of my life is thinking magically about what I want to change and saying the words which make the change. The difficult part of my life is accepting the very minute adjustments these words bring about in my life. I am very blessed to have the opportunity to see my life this way.
~AC
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