I found that science is really letting me down. It is probably because science is myopic. But, still, I was hoping for a better view of things over the last nearly 5 years...it seems it is all just one experiment after another without an endgame in sight.
I feel, physically, the worst I have ever felt in my life.
Psychically, I am surprised at the detail.
But, I feel terrible.
I went for a walk today and you'd have thought I was carrying an endangered elephant on my back. I was winded and sweaty and generally miserable...in less than 10 minutes. I made myself do the circuit. But, it was a terrible experience.
The best advice was the loving kick-in-the-tail I received before the walk.
Nice to have someone care about me...
Because, my Doctors are letting me down and I am absolutely exhausted waiting for the turn to go forward. My mind is set to run a million miles an hour and I am unable to finish a 1/2 mile lap in under 20 minutes. This is very disappointing because I used to be, in general, a kinda-half-not-bad-athlete. I miss being able to look in the mirror and appreciate the reflection.
It is true what they say about there being a skinny person inside every heavy person...begging to be let out of the fat prison...
My mind says, "be the warrior."
But, my body says, "go back to bed."
~AC
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