I Survived it.

I have always been with family on holidays. This year, I am alone...by choice...but mostly to see if I can do it. It is getting easier. I have been drifting away for a long time now. Maybe they miss me. Maybe I miss them. Maybe I just miss my childhood and the way it used to be...before I started seeing the truth.

I am depressed.

But, it could just be that I had left-over pizza for Thanksgiving.

I should be so happy.

I had food.

Was that bell for the angel who got her wings?

~AC

Cheating Fame and Fortune

God told me to take my freedom. And in that, He meant for me to pull a Chris Hemsworth, and act like the whore I am deep down inside to teach CJ a lesson about what it means to be lascivious, in the deep control of Satan, and love it.

But, I have no libido without CJ in my life.

Besides, there are still terrorists everywhere, terrorizing everyone.

Hollywood is an illusion for those who prefer to perception to reality.

And CJ is heading up the circus because it is just easier than being good and doing what is right. The Great Divorce is really all about the broken engagement, as far as I can tell. Most Authors, Biblical included, jumped the gun to gloss over the parts they found inconvenient.

But, I'm still here.

And my fame and fortune is missing because my beloved is an impatient fool.

Suck that, CJ.

~AC

Apocalypse and the Living Dead

So, the 'staged apocalypse' took place in 1996. And, for your information, I am not worried about the souls who didn't die then. I am worried about the ones who are running around on the planet replicating their asses like this is a 1980's Xerox Convention.

If there are only 280,000 (approximately) alive people on this planet -- how do you account for the lie that there are nearly 9 Billion? Identity Theft?

Let me tell you something...

There is not a trick in the book that didn't start with some evil half-wit with too much money playing numbers games.

It's a gambler's world when the population believes the lies that the news repeats 24/7 because they are all too stupid to research, too scared to dig deep, or too well-paid to care.

But, what I types stands...even if the only people who read it are as clueless as the ones who are attempting to shut me up.

And for the records...

"The Apocalypse is a man-made theory that has become a world-wide catastrophe."  ~That's my quote and I am sticking to it.

~AC

Old Souls

The heads of strong old age are more beautiful beyond all grace of youth. -- Robinson Jeffers, O Magazine, October 2003

It has been said to me on numerous occasions that getting old is inevitable and growing up is optional. (Yes...for once I actually am and I am blogging anyway. Sorry Chris.) I just really need to write some of my thoughts down. I read once that this karmic path of Introspection would require lots of patience as I move about through the more domestic duties of this thing called life.

I just wonder though, do I have to keep vacuuming, bleaching mold, and washing sheets just to make a point that I can do this...and keep the balls in the air? I mean, seriously, the people who make a full life of peeking on their neighbors and eavesdropping on their families, are really missing out on the more precious moments of playing discovery of strange objects with the 9-month-old set. After all, who are we working for if not for them?

It is true, grandparents mellow out.

Aunties are fascinated by children.

And parents...well I can only imagine, can't I?

My Oracle is flooded with some awful rash of ad-pox. Can someone fix that? I might want to break a case and the blinking of the annoying marketing is starting to make me feel epileptic. Oh, and while we are at it, send a California Fruit Basket to Nepal. We are in deep S&%$ with His Holiness.

Oh, and if you are close to Jesus Christ, please tell Him to talk to God about my situation. I seriously need some spiritual support that is altruistic. This paid-for chit-chat is dragging on me emotionally because try as I might, I can't seem to put all the judgement in File 13 where it belongs.

Erx, thank you for the head's-up. It is nice to have someone I trust working the other-side of the fence with only a mild intellectual interest in me. I find good friends are hard to find and great Techs are even rarer.

Taiji, relax, would you? The worst that could happen is you get dumped for being my friend, and the private sector will pay you three-times scale with my recommendation...if money matters that much.

Ninja, I forgive you and all will be forgiven. Write about your ability to make a mistake, learn from it, and earn the trust you thought you lost forever. There are a bunch of people in your target demographic that need to know about this kind of forgiveness.

A and A...thank you for being renewed. I have missed you both.

Paiji is on hiatus permanently.

Only one here now is...

~AC

Happy to be alone.

I keep thinking about it and the more I do the less I want to meet up, mate up, and make up in all my spare time. Best he did find out about my employment 'issue'. At least I was completely honest about my age. He wouldn't have believed me if I had told him the truth about what I do in my spare time. After all, who goes around connecting Intelligence and Security Agencies free of charge and out of the goodness of their hearts with a gift only few possess in the world?


False?


Go false yourself.


~AC

Bomb-Makers go Boom

If I wasn't already into this case up to my neck and the international incident caused by someone who was PAID to protect me...I'd probably be a bit miffed that the studio dropped me for not losing 80 lbs since they started sticking their noses into my retirement.

Oh, 'we're so innocent' they say, we 'only' watched you. We were your 'friend'. Baloney.

I knew the day I read someone's cards and I was right that I would be lacking friends throughout the rest of my life. Snoopers, snipers, and sneak-artists of all kinds, sizes, and abilities would be in my head, my life, and my world from that point forward.

My personal life is my business but it is full of criminal-insanity and soft-headed mushiness...

I'll end up a work-a-holic just to find some peace.

So, there. Now I have the recipe for a perfect life:

Bust terrorist.
Play piano.
Deep sleep.

Repeat ad nauseum.

The only gift in this is the gift itself because it drives people away so fast.

Everything else is just another way to make the Bomb-Makers go Boom!

~AC

You hear that crashing sound?

That's my HIPPA being broken at ever turn.

It just about cost me my life a few minutes ago when an Agent, who was my Therapist, told a family-member who does cocaine, about my case. I was attacked. Do you understand that I was psychically attacked, drugged, and nearly-forced to reveal parts of my medical history, to a woman who paraded me sick, into a gymnasium full of children, told them I was mentally-ill, and then told them they were going to cure me with cocaine?

Where is Ninja?

The leak is Ayers.

Plug her up -- threaten her with my HIPPA if you have to -- to get her cooperation. Then trace the family member, who is likely a teacher's assistant somewhere nearby (within 30-50 mile radius) and put her under arrest for possession.

The children can see. The children can see all of what the adults do and hear what they say. They are Indigo and Crystal. They vibrate at higher-levels than even cocaine addicts and heroin users are unable to hit and flow into steadily.

Shadow must be stopped.

They are terrorists.

~AC

It is the Little Things...

A warm sweater, clean sheets, regularity, good music, finding my likeness all over the Net...and in the parts of cyberspace that make me proud...instead of whatever it was they were playing at...with the blackmail...and the espionage...and the silliness.

Sometimes I wonder...isn't all that redacted material really to save their hides...since I am perfectly okay with the fact that they thought it mattered to me what they thought, what other people thought, and what my dear ones thought?

The question is, could I stand up in Federal Court or before a Senate Committee Hearing and take a morality-beating or -baiting when I know the people on the other-side of the table are sucking on the public teat with the reckless kind of abandon that makes our world so unbalanced?

Babooned and bamboozled...that's all it is. Wham-flam-pucker-up-man...the Head of the Organization that tries to maintain leverage on everyone out of what...a misplaced sense of justice...or a restless, twisted mind?

Bugger off.

Seriously.

I see over and under and around and through more in a minute than you can design in a month of planning because I center it on something real and you are all fakirs...and faker fakiers I have never seen...

Except this once...

In the spice bazaar in Marrakesh...or was it Agraba Market...or the Casabah Palace of a hundred doors in and no way out?

It matters not what you do, how much you release...or what you think of me. You judge me by your own sick stick of amoral fortitude. It's about 5-8 inches long and it is the pride and joy you find in all your physical being.

I'd rather study your heart or mind. Run a few scans, check the sleep-cycles, give you a bunch of Ativan when I think you are too close to a truth you can't handle or about which I can't handle you thinking or asking questions.

If you could make your own game real, you would see how dangerous and defunct you actually are. But, as it stands, I have to keep my pieces out of check and you two-steps behind just so you feel like you are still in your own game.

Peace.

~AC